I’m going to call on my boy Rumi to help me flesh out this post, because he had a way with words that I will only ever dream of having. I’d like to think my sense of humor is a little more thoroughly developed than his was though. I’ll let you decide which is more important.
So. You know those front bangs that I had from 3rd-8thgrade? Yeah I wanted those at the time. I look back now and wonder why my family and friends let me continuously make such a destructive decision…but at the time, it felt good in my soul. I was Lizzie McGuire and no one was going to stop me. And let’s be honest, it made for some stellar blackmail material for my siblings. Point being: You’ll never truly be able to regret a decision that was honest, true, and in pursuit of a desire that you held within your heart.
I’m still figuring out what the heck it is I want to do with my life. I started a career in broadcast news, thinking that I would climb the corporate ladder and become the youngest Executive News Producer that Tampa had ever seen. Now I work in marketing and have no intention of ever stepping foot in a newsroom again. And that’s okay. Last year I wanted to get married to the person I was dating and buy a house in Florida. Now I live on a sailboat and couldn’t dream of settling down anytime soon, especially not where I live currently. There is too much of the world to see. Too many experiences to be had.
When it comes to pursuing dreams, we have to be okay with change. We also have to be okay with letting other people’s expectations down. Life is better when you’re not so concerned about how other people will view you for your actions, choices, and decisions. There’s great freedom in doing what makes you happy and being authentically yourself. Whether this is something as simple as how you dress, the career path you choose, or the company you keep. When you’re true to yourself and don’t allow the assumed thoughts of others to dictate your choices, life possibilities expand and your joy increases.
Now you might be thinking, wow this girl really has it together. Yeah, no. You know what allowed me to finally embrace change? I ran out of ways to avoid it.
I got dumped. My apartment rent was being raised and I could no longer afford to stay where I was. And then my little dog, my best companion, suddenly passed away. Everything in my life was uprooted and I’ll be honest, for a long time I didn’t know what I was going to do or why this was all happening at one time. Heck, I still don’t. But I remember my Mom coming to visit me after it all happened and saying “Kathryn, you have to get up. You have to go to work. You have to move forward.”
The concept of moving forward at the time seemed too difficult to face. But having everything stripped down allowed me to take time to slowly look at myself and figure out what it was that I wanted. Not what everyone else in my life had wanted for me. It is exhausting trying to be someone you are not. And life is way, way, way too short to spend time pursuing something that doesn’t make you smile.
Now don’t get me wrong, I truly hope that this isn’t the route you have to take in finding out what it is you truly desire for yourself. The important thing is that no matter how change comes about, and no matter what goals we each have for ourselves, that we always strive to passionately pursue our happiness and not the ideas of what should make us happy.
I have not a clue in the world where this journey will lead me, since my desires seem to be changing by the minute these days, but like the tides pulling my sailboat, I’m learning to let go and let my life be drawn towards what it is I desire. Sometimes drifting can be scary, but sometimes it can lead you towards what you have been looking for the entire time. If it turns out that the strange pull towards what you love leads you to front bangs, then you do you boo. But know that we will take pictures. And we will laugh. Let’s enjoy the ride together.
And yes this entire post was sort of a Captain Jack/Pirates of the Caribbean “follow the compass of your heart” reference. I live on a boat. I can have one pirate reference on my blog…stop judging me.
Much love and adventure,